From the file marked: 'Don't say this to your boss.'

1. Do not say, in response to the question, "what do you remember about your contact with person X?", "Uh, I was kind of drunk. I'm sorry."

2. Do not say, when explaining to your supervisor that you think *her* supervisor should be part of this, "I'm not sure you can handle this."

3. Do not say, "I wasn't really paying attention," when asked if you were provided information on a particular topic in your orientation.

As a supervisor, feel free to say:

- Do you always have difficulty with your memory, or are you attributing that to being intoxicated?

- I was hired for this position for a specific reason, and it has nothing to do with what's between my legs.

- I'm sorry, are we boring you here?

And also, when you've had a particularly trying day, don't forget about Texts From Last Night. Possibly the funniest thing ever. Thanks to Josh for that gem of a procrastination device.

Feel free to remind me that I was *just* on vacation for a week!